life is harsh
by DegrassiForLife
Summary: eli is acting wierd and clair wants to know why. but her questioning takes a turn for the worst and she ends up in tears.
1. Chapter 1

October 27 - early, 2:00 in the morning

i didnt know life could be this harsh. I had everything one day than nothing at all the next. I dont understand, how could he hurt me like this! he said he loved me! i guess that is just it, he "loved" me.

Passed tense. Not any more.

October 26 - morning, just before school

I sat out side on the bench waiting for Eli. He was really late. We wernt going to have any time to talk...again. But at that moment He drove into the parking lot. I automatically smiled, I guess it is just habit now. Once he got out of his car he gave is beautiful dark brown hair a shake- i love it when he does that.. sexy! As he was walking up to the school doors he diding even see me so i called out his name.

"Hey Eli! it was about time you showed up! the bell is about to ring!"

"Oh hi clair. im sorry, i had a... thing i had to take care of."

"Are you okay? You seem kind of out of it today.P

"I-" the school bell cut him off "I got to go clair."  
and with that he was gone.

During my first two classes all i could think of was Eli and what he was going to tell me! Was his dad back on drugs? Did they get in a fight? And more importantly, why didn't he tell me this morning?

As I waited for the lunch bell to ring, so my questions could be answered, I began wondering... oh my goodness ... i hope his "thing" he had to take care of was Fitz.

Finally the bell rang and i was out of the class room and almost running to Eli's locker.

when i got there i was shocked to only see Adam there and not see Eli. how could he be gone already! the bell rang like 40 seconds ago!

"Adam! wheres Eli?"

"hi clair ! its nice to see you too! oh im great! how are you?" he said sarcastically.

"Thats really funny Adam! Now where is he?"

"i dont know. he wasn't in our science class."

i agressivly yelled out, "Shit!" then turned around and stormed down the hallway back to my locker.

"OKay, good talk, i'll see you later!" Adam called out to me, still with a tone of sarcism in his voice.

after i got my things i ran out to the parking lot. Morty was gone.

"URG!" i just got stares.

"im sorry! just had to let it out!" and people continued to stare, i just walked away.

where could he have gone! I pulled out my phone to call him.

it rang once... a second time... voice mail

crap. why would he ignore my call? something has to be going on.

I didnt know what else to do, so i rode my bike to his house.

i knocked.

no answer.

i knocked again.

i herd footsteps.

"Eli! i know your in there!" i yelled.

The door opened.

An middle aged man opened the door. he was in sweat pants and a muscle shirt. he smelt like beer. it was obvious that he hadnt shaved in days.

"oh hello sir, I'm Clair Edwards."

"yeah, that little shit mentioned you. What do you want?"

"well, i just wanted to know if Eli was here, he left school early and he isn't answering his phone and i kinda need to talk to him."

"he's not here."

"oh well do you have any idea where he might be."

"i have no idea. I dont really pay attention to his tantrums, but you seem like i nice girl clair so i guess he went right somewhere."

there was a long, ackward pause, then finally, "try his uncle's ... he seems to like him."

"Thank you sir, it was nice meeting you."

I stept down from the doorstep and headed north towards Eli's uncles house. His dad seemed nice i dont know why Eli is always complaining about him.

I turned down his uncles road. Bingo. there it was, Morty parked on the side of the road.

I got to the house and i was surprised to Eli sitting on the hood of his car.

i got off my bike and slowly walk towards him.

"I didnt know where else to go, but hes not home, like usual..." he said, still looking down at the pavement.

"Eli" i paused, "whats going on?"

silence.

"come on Eli! you can tell me anything! nothing will make me stop loving you!"

he took a step forward and turned to face her.

"Thats just it Clair! You love me! it just doesn't make sense! Your like the total opposite of what i am used to! You smile all the time, you stand up for people you hate,  
you think the best of people no matter the situation and... and.. and you wear pink! im sorry but i repulse that colour!" he smirked.

I just stood there in disbelieve... he had the nerve to smirk at me !

"so what you are saying is ... you dont love me because... i wear .. pink?" i said with a very questioning tone.

"No, clair that was just a side point. I just feel like.. like i have to change to be with you."

"You deffinitally do not!"

"Clair... yesterday i wore a plad shirt because you said you parents think black is the colour of the devil and on the way home from your house Tuesday a Miley Cyrus song came on the radio and i didn't change it! I am changing clair!"

"well maybe your changing for the best."

"You dont undestand" he practically yeller it. "I dont want to change and if you want me to change than..." we just stared at eachother, he very sternly, I very confuzed. "i guess im not the right guy for you."

we stood there for a minute. I was taking in the information i was just told before i were to say something i would regret, but it just came out,

"well if you feel that way...then maybe we should just break up!"

"maybe we should."

"fine."

"fine."

i stood there staring at him not wanting to leave...

"so it is settled then, goodbye Eli"

and i was on my bike and gone before i could hear him say goodbye, if he even said it.

My bike ride home was very difficult with the many toughts running throught my brain and wondering what just happened, along with fight back the tears. The last thing i needed was for my make-up to run down my face and for people to call the police saying that there was a maniack biking down the road.

Right when i got home i went straight to my room and started to ball!

it was 2 o'clock in the morning and i was trying to get to sleep but i just couldn't. How could Eli do this to me! He promised he would never hurt me! why did he even have to move here anyway! I would have been much better off not knowing him at all!

i didnt know life could be this harsh. I had everything one day than nothing at all the next. I dont understand, how could he hurt me like this! he said he loved me! i guess that is just it, he "loved" me.

passed tense. Not any more.


	2. Chapter 2

i woke up the next day and thoughts rushed threw my mind. i decided to stay home i couldnt stand to see Eli today, after what he said to me. I had a relaxed day. Slept in, wrote some fanfiction, did my nails and watched a few movies. I had an amazing me day until about 5:28 PM, when i signed on to msn. before i even had a chance to see who was on, Eli had started a convosation with me.

Eli- hey! why wernt u at school?  
Clair- Im sick. and why do you care anyway we broke up!  
Eli- oh i hope you get better. :)  
and i care because i hoped we could be friends.  
Clair- "friends"? Trust me Eli that wouldn't work out.  
Eli- Why?  
Clair- Because Eli! because you dont want me! i wont be able to look into your beautiful green eyes and not feel butterflies in my stomach! and! and.. i wont be able to look at you and not remember the good times we had without a tear coming to my eyes. I love you Eli and nothing is going to change that!

a minute passed.. 2... 3... 4...5..6...7..

Eli has logged off

Clair- Wow. thats just like you! just run away from every problem when you cant think of one of your clever remarks! dont ever talk to me again!

... offline message sent...

I grabbed a shower then made some Pizza pops for supper because once again my mother was away at a charity event. I really miss having dad not here all the time. He made the best chicken but every sence he got a new job he doesnt get home until 11Pm. I sat down in my bed and started a movie on my laptop, then drifted to sleep.

ding-a-ling-ding-ding.

i woke up to see i had a text message.

Clair where are you! you have never been away 2 days in a row! Ali.

shit! I forgot to set my alarm! it was 8:42. okay if i leave now i would only miss my first class. but unfortunitly i would be there for english.

I quickly got dressed and grabed an apple on my way out. I hopped on my bike and pedaled as fast as i could. when i got there i knew that the bell had already rung because the smokers went outside for the 2 minute smoke between classes. I locked my bike and went into the office to sign in and i was shocked to see Eli. He was ssitting in the waiting chair with a fat lip and a black eye starting to form. I looked at him, he looked at me and gave me a smirk i just rolled my eyes and looked away. I signed in then turned around to walk out. Then Eli sat up and looked at me like he was expecting my to sit down and ask him what happened but i just kept walking. Did he not read my last message yet? oh well i wasn't going to let that go through my thought process all day.

At lunch i caught up with Ali. She was with Drew.

"hey clair! nice to see you finally! I'm sorry i didnt wait for you at your locker i just thought you would be eating lunch with Eli, or at least helping him put on a bandage, that was quite a fight you missed this morning!"

"oh no i wont be eating with him anymore. We broke up. But what a fight? who did he fight?"

"omg clair you broke up! When? why? how?"

"its not important right now. who did Eli fight? and why?"

"Fitz. Im not really to sure why . I think it had something to do with fitz calling you a bitch or something. but tell me about the break up!"

I was really confuzed Eli got into a fight about me! but why would he do that if he didnt love me? or maybe... maybe he does love me, maybe he just-"hello earth to clair!"

"umm... i'll tell you later, i got to go. dot- 4:30?"

"but clair.."

"i need to go Ali, see you at 4:30."

"okay clair." she waved bye as i ran back into the school.

I need to find Eli. I need some answers. I first checked the office. Nor he or Fitz were in there. i headed to his locker, but on my way i glanced into the Library. there he was. Sitting at a table all alone surrounded my books. His beautiful dark brown hair draped on his face and his stunning green eyes focused to the thick novel infront of him. I walk in. He looked up, smiled then looked back down. I walked forward as he was scribbling down the few last words in his paragraph.

"this is the last place i expected to find you."  
"and yet i am here." he smirked. "I thought you never wanted to talk to me again?"  
"oh. you got that message then."  
"yeah. my laptop died. and by the time i got upstairs and plugged it in and signed back in to explain myself you had logged out, leaving behind a strongly worded message." I looked down in embarassment. "and by this conversation i am guessing you havnt logged on sence to get my message."  
"uhh.. i guess not. what did it say?"  
"your just going to have to figure that out on your own."he smirked.

-  
Hey guys! thanks for reading. i will try to do a chapter at least every other day. or at least until school starts again than i might have to scale it down to once a week due to homework. R&R! 


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the day went by really slow. I wanted to get home and check my msn. then finally the bell rung and i was out of the school so fast i didnt even take time to talk to Eli. I knew he wouldn't tell me so i went for the sure thing.

I ran through my front door. Mother was preparing supper.

"hey honey, how was your day?" - i didn't stop to answer that question i just yelled "good" on my way up the stairs.

I bolted into my bedroom and practically bee lined it to my computer. Of course it was off and it took SO LONG to start up it felt like hours but in reality it was on 3 minutes. FINALLY! i clickes the MSN messanger icon about 20 times- bad idea because of course 10 windows popped up causeing me more time! i cant believe it why didn't he just tell me it would have been alot easier!

Then right when i signed in a window popped up- it was our conovosation. With my heart racing i read,

Eli-CLAIR! i am sooo sorry! My laptop died i signed back on as soon as i could! but you are already gone. but before all that happened i was going to say that you have it all wrong clair- which must be new for you ;)! I want you i have always wanted you ! sence the day i ran over your glasses! I feel all the things you do- the butterflies, oh how they drive me crazy! I Love you. im just afraid that your going to realize that you are way out of my league and break up with me! I would much rather us just be friends than risk that heart break in the future. I am sorry if i hurt your feelings in this computer misunderstanding. I just hope you can forgive me.

omg! he loves me? but he thinks i am going to break his heart! i am really confuzed like did he miss the part where i said i love him! Urg! i wrote out my response but he wasn't online so before i sent it i thought.. i have questions that need to be answered ! and they need to be answered now! so insted i called him.

It didn't even do a full ring before he picked up.

"I have been expecting a call"  
" meet me at the park in 5."  
i hung up then ran out the door. When i got to the park Eli was already there sitting on top of a picnic table. I walked over to him. i spoke first "Hey"  
"hi, so you read the message?"  
"yeah and i have some questions."  
"go for it."  
"what did you mean by 'you are out of my league'?"  
"Clair, your beautiful, smart, independent and you notice things other people dont! your not like other girls!.You should be with some handsome jock or something not some goth boy with amazing hair." by now he was up and pacing a 5 foot line "Eli! dont talk about yourself that way! And you just said it yourself! i am not like other girls! I do notice things other people dont!- like the real you! The Eli on the inside- the one who is not so tough as he acts, the guy who loves to dance but would never show it. The Eli I Love." i stood up our faces just inches away. "So would you just get over this league stuff and kiss me!" and that moment our lips crashed together in the most passionate kiss. I felt as if sparks were fly as i dragged my fingers his beautiful hair. i felt his hands around my waist pulling me closer so every part of our bodies were touching. I stopped for a second to catch my breath, then it just slipped out.

"so, this means were back together right?"  
he stopped from kissing my neck and broght his head up to mine we stared at eachother, then "if thats alright with you" he said it with a smirk.  
I kissed him, and then when i had a chance i said, "of course!" 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! thanks to everyone for reading! please review! i want to hear your ideas! cause honestly it has taken my so long to put up a new chapter because i have a mild case of writers block and apperently there is not medicien for it.. at least not at my local drug store.  
and because of this writers block i am switching things up. this chapter and possibly the following one will be in Eli's Point of View. Enjoy!  
oh! and thanks to degrassilove18 (aka my best friend kendra) for pointing out to me that i have been spelling clare wrong.. my bad.. i would go back and change it but honestly i am just to lazy :p okay.. sorry for the long note.. heres the story! REVIEWWWWW! PLEASE?

I was laying in my bed about a week after Clare and I got back together. I lie there thinking of how i am the happiest guy in the world! To have her on my arm is the greatest feeling ever! I was hesititating getting up because seeing my father would totally wreck the amazing mood i was in, but i was hungry so i pulled myself out of bed and mozied down to the kitchen. There he was passed out on the couch, i was descusted the second i say him. I NEVER wanted to be like him. I will not let myself be like him, I would rather be shot in the head. I made myself a couple of scrambled eggs and sat down to eat them. When i was finished i decided to text clare.

Hey Clare! What are you up to today? - Eli

around 30 seconds passed when my phone bepped with my responce.

Hey Eli! I am so sorry! I am having a girls day with Aly. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow night. -Clare

I was upset for a second but i got over it and responded.

Its okay. I will just call Adam and see if he is up for guys night. And tomorrow sounds great. -Eli

I didnt expect a reply so i call Adam. He answered after 2 rings.

"Hey man!"  
"Hey Adam, What are you up to today?"  
"Nothing i was just going to watch tv all day but hanging with you would be much more fun."  
"awesome! so do you want me to pick you up.. in lets say an 25 minutes.. is that enough time for you?"  
"yeah! sounds great. see you then."  
I hung up.  
I went and got changed. Run my fingers through my hair and i was out the door. I got to Adams house 5 minutes early, but he was ready so we headed off.  
"so what are we going to do?"  
i was unsure of my answer.  
"I havn't really thought of that yet. Do you have any ideas?"  
"well Paranhas 3D came out yesterday if you are interested?"  
"Yes! It would be nice to watch a horror film and not have the person next me burying their face into my shoulder"  
"ahaha."  
I turned on the radio. The rest of the ride was pretty quite except for the odd blurt out of song lyrics from both Adam and I.

The movie was awesome! Blood and guts everywhere. My kind of film. Clare will be glad to hear that I saw it so i wont make her see it with me. We drove back to my house. We walked in to see that my dad had already left for his night adventure. I saw that he left a few beers in the fridge so i offered one to Adam and we went out on the deck and taked guy talk. The time flew buy, along with the beers. I hadn't even noticed it but in the matter of 2 hours Adam and I drank a whole 12 pack. Adam was drunk i was almost there. I went looking for more alchol in my dads office and i found some, a whole 26er of bacardi. I poured myself a shot while Adam kept saying that we should take Fitz out and of course i agreed but adam wanted to do it now so i took my shot and followed him out the door. I grabbed my keys and got into Morty.

"Im fine! Just get in!"  
and he did. I put the keys in the ignition and drove off.  
"Dude you just drove through a stop sign!" "Really? well theres no cops around, im good."  
"Maybe you should pull over. We can walk from here."  
"Nah man! Im fine!" "No , seriously man, you could loss you licence!"  
I was fed up with Adam, I turned to him, "You know what Adam, you just need to-"  
"Eli! watch out for the-"  
I looked forward and I swerved.

- Soo crazy right. Dont drink and drive. sorry for the shortness remember- writers block. chaptered inspired by Drunk Girls by LCD Soundsystem .. i encourage all to download.. i love it!  
Review give ideas. Love you all! xoxo 


End file.
